Turbulence in Transition (aka prayer requests:)

-
Walking with God has been tough since I came home. It's hard to get to a quiet (and cool..) place to pray, and it's almost impossible to sit down with the Bible at home and hear from God amidst all the noise and distractions. Not being able to read and pray was my biggest fear in moving back home. I'm longing for that quietness and solitude I had with God back at school..it was so much easier to hear from and talk with Him. So I guess that's a prayer request for me..even if it's not possible for me to commune with Him at home, that I'd take out time in my schedule everyday to go somewhere and meet with Him. It's my lifesource.

I'm also actually more stressed now..I didn't realize til I came before God today with a hardened, burdened heart. Most of my stress comes from striving to meet people's expectations, but feeling like I fall short in every way. I already face criticism from patients at work for not doing things right..And with family, I fall short as well--I want to and am expected to help out more at home but I keep prioritizing ministry and social life above that. With friends I don't feel like I measure up either, and I've taken up new ministry responsibilities in which I'm already afraid I'll fail. With it being so hard to meet with God..I just kind of get hopeless sometimes. It's so tiring trying to measure up before men..it's a constant struggle that, if I don't give to God, makes life a rollercoaster. As I came before God today though, it was a sudden relief..to find that before Him and Him alone, I am enough. Little things people say here and there, they all add up into this belief that I am not enough. But God said to me, "you are enough," weaknesses and all. I fail and I fail, but God says my poverty is beautiful, and my weaknesses guarantee His aid, if I just look to Him. Please pray that I could just live for my audience of One..

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Joyful Invitation

-
As, when the Jews from all parts of the country went up thrice a year to worship at Jerusalem, they called on their friends in the road and excited them to go along with them, so shall many of the Gentiles court their relations, friends, and neighbours, to join with them in embracing the Christian religion (v. 3):  "Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the  Lord;  though it be uphill and against the heart, yet it is the mountain of the Lord,  who will assist the assent of our souls towards him.’’  If only we would as easily invite all our friends, neighbors, family, and co-workers to know the Lord , as we would invite them to parties or to hang out..
Read more

The Good Eye

-
Image
Coming from an unsaved home, the messages I first received from Christianity were that there was a Person who loved me. I was mind-blown that there was a Creator who knew and loved me extravagantly. I didn’t understand the religiosity of things or even how people could be sick of church. But over a decade, the Person I first fell in love with began to fade into the background of my memory, and the clamor of my own insecurities and comparisons with others began to take over – in regard to how well-versed I was with the Bible, how well I could pray, how much I was doing for God in missions and evangelism, whether I could prophesy accurately, whether people were healed when I prayed for them, and the list goes on.  The passage that struck me recently regarding this matter was Matthew 6:22-23: “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good , your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad , your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light ...
Read more

The Worth of Hiddenness

-
Image
For much of my 20’s, I aspired to a certain idea and vision of greatness. I received prophecies about my greatness and how the Lord wanted to use me to “impact nations.” I heard these kinds of words over and over, and these words were great to hear – but naturally, after many years of not making much impact, I felt like I had failed God to some measure (I believe my experience is not uncommon). I felt I needed to figure out how to achieve “big impact” in order to truly fulfill my calling and destiny in life.   The Great Commission says in Matthew 28:19-20:  "Go therefore and  make disciples of all the nations , baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...”  When read plainly, the Great Commission does put forth this command of impacting nations. The problem is that we have interpreted the Great Commission in a way that makes it unachievable to 99% of Christians who do not have large platforms or access to thousands ...
Read more