Clinging

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I finally booked my airline tickets last night. Flying LAX->PEK via Air Canada at 7am on Feb. 21, and back from HK->LAX on..August 19 =(.

I slept at 3am cause I couldn't get up the courage to press the "Submit" button. Call me sheltered cause I am, but I have never been away from home for that long--the longest was my first misson trip in 2007, and that was barely a month. Even since I've been at college, I have never not come home for the weekend for longer than 3 weeks. Shoot, this is 6 months guys!! China..I'm sorry, but I'm getting cold feet.

But then I think about this long-term missionary, Alex, who came to Winter Conference and held a workshop for people interested in long-term missions. He looked at his family, friends, everything he knew, and just said..Goodbye. How do you get up the courage to do that?? But one thing he said really stuck with me. None of these places he's lived in and known--for me, basically just LA--are his home.

Our residence is in the Heavens above, and "home" is just a feeling.

I guess I'm just scared of losing that feeling for too long, as I venture alone across the ocean for 6 months. "Home:" I find it with my family, where I know I'm cared for, and I find it with close friends, where I know I'm safe from judgment and hurt.

But I was listening to "Clinging to the Cross" today by Bethany Dillon..This is the chorus:

Simply to the cross i cling
Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
Clinging to the cross

So I guess this is my test. When I say, "Jesus, You're all I need," do I really mean it?

Simply to the cross I cling, Letting go of all earthly things..
I've gotta admit, it's a scary but exciting thing..Just me and Jesus, in Beijing.

OK..There's just this particular fear haha. That something will happen to my family, especially my grandparents, when I'm gone. There's been so many "almosts" just within the last year--my brother in an almost fatal car accident, my grandparents both bruised up in another accident, and both of them have been getting sick more frequently. None of my family is saved yet, save my sister. But God's given me faith..that as long as I keep standing in the gap, He won't let them go. But I would really appreciate prayer support. =)

Comments

Unknown said…
:) tho u be far. u'll be in my <3 . i'll be praying for you!!!
January 27, 2010 at 7:52 PM
永中 said…
isa 41:10 'mate
keep this thing updated whilst ur in 北京 :]
January 27, 2010 at 11:21 PM
Monica said…
Your love and devotion to Jesus never fails to brighten my day. Or night in this case... Anyways, yeah, being away from home is might be tough, but I am confident that you will be fine and you will love it there! Keep yourself busy and comfy, k? May God watch over you and your family in those months. And please remember to blog even more often if you can, yes yes? :)

Will be praying for you!
Monica
January 28, 2010 at 1:15 AM
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