Anguish

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There's so much pain in my heart
and it's not my own.

This is the heart of God.
It turns violently with LOVE so deep, deeper than OCEANS,
but He bears the pain of His love being UNrequited and forsaken by men.

This is the heart of God.
It cries out compassion for His beloved, precious, beautiful creations who are suffering horrendously in this world. And no, don't blame it on their sin.

A few months ago, God was telling me He was giving me His own heart..new mercy and new compassion. But God, Oh God, how much it hurts. How bitter your cup is my Lord. How MUCH you bear in Your very heart, and how long you bear until justice can be carried out on this earth through the cries of Your saints.

I've been crying out the tears of God. They stream and they stream, and it seems there's no end to the pain that He feels. How much He LOVES us. How much He BEARS for us.

This "anguish" that Paul talked about, it's becoming real for me only because I'm beginning to experience how GOD feels. God's anguish is greater than we can ever know. He is beautiful, so beautiful, so merciful and good and gracious, and He suffers so long for our love.

A few nights ago I was filled with anguish at the thought of my grandparents perishing in hell. Spiritual death is just as real as physical death. And physical death can hit any second of the day if we're not careful..if I'm not diligent everyday to keep fighting for their souls in prayer. The thought of that is completely frightening and horrendous. My grandparents..my favorite two people in the world, their souls are in my hands. My mom, my dad, my brother. Oh Goddd, my God, you gotta hear me out.

The world says lighten up. But there's too much at stake. And He's worth it. HE IS WORTH IT.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I will also pray for your family's salvation!~ God will make a way!~

Love,
Patty
November 2, 2009 at 5:50 PM
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