Clarity

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Today, I started off a little shaken, spiritually.
Mei and I went EV-ing in the dorms last night, and we met this girl and had a long conversation with her. She was pretty, and deep. The things she said wrecked my heart. The theological issues she brought up were the same things I struggle with..I wish I could say with God about, but more so against Him about. This issue of the intense, traumatic, agonizing human suffering that happens all over the world.

I ask God to give me compassion, and He gives it to me..but sometimes I don't handle it the way I should. Instead of pouring it out in intercession or going out to the lost..sometimes I mull over these issues in confusion over the "WHY?" Why are there so many innocent girls who are traumatized by disgusting violation of their bodies everyday for years? Why are there people who experience such intense pain in their lives, while I am here, safe and sound, worrying about the most petty things compared to people who would kill to have access to my trash can?

Why..it's a big question that I can understand people unwilling to accept God over. And I'm still dealing in turmoil with it. But I need to realize the weight of sin, and how pervasive it is and how much God hates it, to be able to understand why there is so much suffering in the world. Today, I got a lot more clarity over this issue that's been mounting up in my heart over the semester.

Funny..I was crying out to God to give me an explanation. But I found myself at the end of the day feeling very ashamed. What I told Him to do was arrogant. Because God is GOD. He requires no explanation. I had opened up to this random yet perfect part in "Crazy Love," that gave me perfect clarity. Francis Chan writes, "we keep on questioning Him: 'Why are so many people dying of starvation?'..'Why is my family so messed up?' 'Why don't You make Yourself more obvious to the people who need You?' The answer to each of these questions is simply this: because He's God. He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving...We are in no place to demand that He give an account to us."

"Because God hates sin, He has to punish those guilty of sin...When we disagree, let's not assume it's His reasoning that needs correction. [...] Whenever we start to question whether God really hates sin, we have only to think of the cross, where His son was tortured, mocked, and beaten because of sin. Our sin."

I am humbled. Praises to God & His mercy..for not burning me to a crisp, because I deserve it.

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