Beautiful?

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"Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make You stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful


I identify with these lyrics so much. This self-consciousness, this need to fit in but not being able to..Every word comes stumbling and every look in another's eyes makes me shifty because I fear they will see into my own. This inability. An inability to be real, to be openly me. An inability to just go with the flow, to forget myself and to just..be myself. But it's not really an inability. Like Jensen says, "You have it in you." Jesus gave each and every one of us the ability..to do all things..to be ourselves when the fear says no one wants to see our real selves. To go out and walk out our salvation, the freedom that He died for us to have. Whatever it is..we can do all things..through Him who gives us strength. His spirit is greater than anything in this world. It's the spirit that raises the dead, that raised Himself from the dead. Everything He did, we can do by His spirit. It's in us, moving around, looking to come alive and work through us if we just let Him. Sometimes we just need to forget ourselves. That's all. That's all it takes. But it's nothing easy..to just let go of all our fears, insecurities, restraints..selfishness, desires, the list goes on. But it takes a first step, and His power comes in just a small step..For sure.
It's just like those trust experiments we did in grade school. Do you trust the person in back of you will catch you when you fall back?
Try and you'll see.."Taste and see that the Lord is good." Let go of yourself--your fears, insecurities, selfish desires--and you'll fall back into Jesus' arms of grace.

"What do I know of holy?,
Are you fire or are you fury?
Are you sacred, are you beautiful?
What do I know.."

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