Am I Really a Christian?

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I've been struggling forreal with this question.

To be completely honest, it doesn't feel like I'm following Jesus. I used to be that radical Christian who would pray for and evangelize to strangers on the street. Nowadays I go from day to day trying to advance my career, manage relationships, be careful not to make anyone mad.. I still think about Him often, but is that enough? I still pray, but is that enough? There's been an unsettling in my heart, and it's been weeks but I'm still not sure how to change my lifestyle/day-to-day in order to return to being wholehearted and sold out for Christ. What does being a "radical" Christian look like for working adults??

I think about my history with God, and I reminisce about all the mountaintops I had with Him of momentarily bringing heaven down to earth, all the mission trips and adventures and moments of complete abandonment.. and it comforts me as I wrestle with this question, but at the same time, I am disturbed that all of it seems like just..memories. As I reflect, having a history with God is the greatest treasure for a Christian, but at the same time it shouldn't be a "justifier" for not continuing to press on and press harder for the prize of knowing Him MORE. We can never ever step into the fullness of what He has for us and what we can accomplish for Him on this side of eternity, because there is no limit.

If anyone has any advice/wisdom on maintaining abandonment to Christ as the years go by... I would really appreciate it~

Comments

Serendipitous Tris said…
If you are even struggling shows that you are a Christian :) All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. (1 John 4:15-18 NLT)
March 27, 2013 at 3:24 AM
Felicia Sun said…
Wow I just saw this..thanks Tristan! Yes, I'm learning that to abide in Him is the way to life and fulfillment of every commandment He gives us.. it's actually very simple, just to seek the Lord daily, only the upkeep is hard.. Thanks for the verses, it does all come down to His love being perfected in us!
April 29, 2013 at 6:27 AM
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