Keep Us Broken

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This past semester I think has been the happiest one I've had. Lots of fun and just enjoying college life. But possibly as a result, it's also been the farthest I've felt from God. Even though I sought Him everyday, I didn't put in half the heart I did in my freshman, sophomore, and junior years. And when you don't put your heart into seeking Him, there's nothing to be found of God but only religion and a form of godliness that reaps no power. I had a good time this past semester exploring the fun this world has to offer, and for the first time I was able to walk around feeling like everything was fine. Yet in my heart of hearts I wished God would bring me to my knees again, that He would compel me to pray with all my heart and soul like I once did. It's this call to anguish that David Wilkerson preaches on so powerfully in these two short messages: A Powerful Warning, A Call to Anguish--please listen!). He keeps saying, "God, keep me on my knees"..."God, keep me broken." And I realize that it is better to be anguished and compelled to pray than enjoy my days in happy triviality. There is joy that comes from being anguished in prayer. Joy comes from the indwelling of the Spirit, happiness apart from Him. I seek joy rather than happiness, brokenness and compassion rather than ugly insensitivity to the needy around me. Keep me on my knees, God.

"A true prayer life begins at the place of anguish."

I remember I put this verse on my desk in freshman year: "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him" -2 Chron 16:9. I also remember telling Becky I wanted to be the one God's eyes fell on~

Comments

Linda Jo said…
i totally feel you on this one. when you're enjoying all the world has to offer, you feel that you don't need God...or rather...i feel like i pay less attention to Him. :(
May 23, 2011 at 11:48 AM
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