One Door Closes, A New One Opens

-
There are so many events, feelings, lessons I need to record from 2010, but writing it all out would take forever, plus I am trying to be more selective in my blog-writing for different reasons. But all in all, it's been a year of God teaching me to trust Him, a year of becoming a fisher of men, of living in faraway places and meeting beautifully unique people. A year of deep loss and lots of tears. A year that I will never forget.

Just some thoughts for 2011..

I need to do some soul-searching.
I realized that all I'm doing is living. I mean, what am I interested in, what makes me happy? I'm realizing God delights in us when we take joy in interests and hobbies and passions even other than Himself. Even though He's jealous for our affection, He also loves to see us happy almost any other way. He is most glorified when we become all He made us to be, passions and interests and all unlocked. I think I've always been afraid of searching out what makes me me cause it might lead to a dead end. But I think I need to stop seeing myself as just a "someone" that's supposed to be there to serve and to help and to listen and to take up space, and to see that God made me an intricate being with hidden passions and interests that, when I search them out and just play around with them, I'll come alive. It doesn't matter so much that I feel like an amateur fool when I'm drawing or dancing or rapping or playing piano..as long as I'm not hurting anyone, God tells me to do what makes me happy. I guess I've never truly accepted it because hobbies can take up a lot of time that you can use to be fruitful for God, but I think God wants more for His children to be able to enjoy the things He's embedded inside us. Just like a true father doesn't want his daughter to spend all her time trying to do well in school so she can get a good job and support him, as much has he'd like her to explore what she likes to do and spend time doing what she enjoys.

Another thing is to figure out what I want in life. Sarah was telling me depressed people go around not knowing what they really want so are always dissatisfied. I think I kind of know the gist of what I want, but I need to orient my life so I can actually get it. What makes me come alive is seeing others touched by the love of God, whether it's seeing someone respond to the gospel with a "Yes! I want Jesus" or talking with a homeless person and just making them feel valuable. It's this kind of precious, one-of-a-kind interaction of hearts that makes me beam. This year, I'm determined to experience more of that.

Most importantly. I want to go deeper with God. I mean new levels of hearing from Him, interacting with Him, knowing Him..til we're like this *crosses fingers* and it's like..I'm all Him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Joyful Invitation

-
As, when the Jews from all parts of the country went up thrice a year to worship at Jerusalem, they called on their friends in the road and excited them to go along with them, so shall many of the Gentiles court their relations, friends, and neighbours, to join with them in embracing the Christian religion (v. 3):  "Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the  Lord;  though it be uphill and against the heart, yet it is the mountain of the Lord,  who will assist the assent of our souls towards him.’’  If only we would as easily invite all our friends, neighbors, family, and co-workers to know the Lord , as we would invite them to parties or to hang out..
Read more

The Good Eye

-
Image
Coming from an unsaved home, the messages I first received from Christianity were that there was a Person who loved me. I was mind-blown that there was a Creator who knew and loved me extravagantly. I didn’t understand the religiosity of things or even how people could be sick of church. But over a decade, the Person I first fell in love with began to fade into the background of my memory, and the clamor of my own insecurities and comparisons with others began to take over – in regard to how well-versed I was with the Bible, how well I could pray, how much I was doing for God in missions and evangelism, whether I could prophesy accurately, whether people were healed when I prayed for them, and the list goes on.  The passage that struck me recently regarding this matter was Matthew 6:22-23: “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good , your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad , your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light ...
Read more

The Worth of Hiddenness

-
Image
For much of my 20’s, I aspired to a certain idea and vision of greatness. I received prophecies about my greatness and how the Lord wanted to use me to “impact nations.” I heard these kinds of words over and over, and these words were great to hear – but naturally, after many years of not making much impact, I felt like I had failed God to some measure (I believe my experience is not uncommon). I felt I needed to figure out how to achieve “big impact” in order to truly fulfill my calling and destiny in life.   The Great Commission says in Matthew 28:19-20:  "Go therefore and  make disciples of all the nations , baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...”  When read plainly, the Great Commission does put forth this command of impacting nations. The problem is that we have interpreted the Great Commission in a way that makes it unachievable to 99% of Christians who do not have large platforms or access to thousands ...
Read more