Overcome, Overcame

Rose Red (Very heavy fragrance), originally uploaded by Ollie_girl.
I came across this photo of a red rose on Flickr..and it just reminded me of the love of God.

When you're in His presence, and it's so strong and thick, it's like you can almost smell it, like the sweet fragrance of roses. Sometimes His presence is so strong in a place that I actually can whiff these sweet wafts of something, not perfume because it's just so heavenly. Also cause I remember someone said Jesus smelled like roses..i think it was the rose of Sharon in the Bible. It's awesome how God allows us to see, hear, even smell the things of heaven. His grace is amazing.

There's also so much depth to God's love, like the layers upon layers of petals of a full rose like this one..When you go deep and really seek Him, you're just kind of enwrapped. It's a lot like those romantic moments with a special someone, when your souls collide..and it's so sweet that you're afraid your own breath will "burst it if it were a bubble" (from one of my favorite songs, "dancing" by Elisa).

It's amazing how people can know God and have a relationship with Him their whole lives..yet there's always still more to learn about Him and more to experience in Him. His love is THAT deep..that it takes more than eternity to really uncover its depths.

Another thing about gazing upon His beauty is that it makes you feel a little more beautiful yourself..possibly because you begin to see yourself as He sees you. And that new sense of contentment with..I guess, "you, as you are in Him"..is priceless. You're naturally able to give your best in actions and words..gazing upon His beauty, brings out the beauty in you.

Translating this to people relationships..I don't know about other people, but I tend to act as I am perceived by others. I've always been pretty perceptive of what people think of me, and I tend to just conform to their judgments instead of try to contradict them. One thing I've been thinking about is how I'm really afraid of a person coming to know every single bit of me--the ugly, incapable, awkward, selfish, and messy included. Is that why people get cold feet? Cause I am already, haha. But that's where love comes in I guess. Assuming love is unconditional? I don't know, I've never been in love. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of..marrying someone whose love was more conditional than not. Someone who loves my good traits, and how I love God, but doesn't love me for who I am, if traits/qualities can be sequestered from a person. Maybe that's what "soulmates" are all about. Messy business. Don't know why I'm thinking about all this..probably cause I watched "500 Days of Summer" and "The Time-Traveler's Wife" yesterday. Hm..really opened up my eyes. Love never got so technical.

So..God healed me tonight :).

A sister was praying for me.. and God told her how I cry for people. Haha. It's the gift of mercy or something..I just feel for people. Though lately, I've been giving up, as she said, "I don't wanna care anymore"..Guess I've been giving up on relationships and not wanting to keep caring for people and getting hurt/nothing in return. It's totally been a subconscious thing, my giving up..but I have noticed in how I've been relating to people lately, not being able to feel what they're going through anymore, and not really caring. But tonight, God told me He was giving me new mercy, and a new heart. He's giving me His own heart for the broken, and His own heart for the lost. I think I've lost His height of compassion for a while now, but now He's giving it back, with full force :). I'm excited and ready for new tears of intercession..to shake the heavens!